gameboycoloured: the year is 2031. “wanna know how i got these scars?” i ask my children. they nod eagerly. “justin bieber smoked a blunt once”
Well excuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu se me
bex-chan: okay america tomorrow is your big day DON’T FUCK IT UP
rufiioh: rufiioh: why do mermaids wear seashells on their boobs BECAUSE B-SHELLS ARE TOO SMALL AND D-SHELLS ARE TOO BIG
Just saw a really stupid tweet: If your nipples fall off you won’t be having any children.” What? How the …
tomhiddlestonswife: “Islam is misogynistic and violent”
livinglouderxo: if you’re a directioner and you’re proud to be one, you should stop. you’re nothing, but sick little disrespectful fucks.
dumbledore: sit down you little fucks i ain't done yet
dumbledore: to hermione granger thank fuck you read books or else these two dipshits would be dead by now here have 50 points or something
dumbledore: to ron weasley for being an awesome chess player here bro let's fist bump you a little smart ginger 50 points for you too
dumbledore: next for harry potter cuz i know i'm only breeding you to die and i feel bad bro here have 50 points sorry about your shitty life xoxo
dumbledore: and neville here have like 10 points cause i hate slytherin and i need an excuse for gryffindor to win okay dumbledore out
4fagsunderthestars: hey there delilah whats it like up in rack city? i see 10s of 10s of 20s laying down upon your titties yes i do no one can twerk dat ass like you i swear its true
swaggadaddy: People who are invited to things but can’t afford them shouldn’t be rude. Complaining and saying “how the hell do you expect me to afford that” is going to make the person who invited you feel like shit. Instead, try saying thankyou and politely declining. Might get you a bit further in life. Be grateful you’ve been considered.
cosmo sex tip #466
lolsofunny: instead of moaning , inform him that Flash 9 is required to listen to audio. via lolsofunny=)
when a teacher is pregnant
people: omg congratulations i'm so happy for you!
me: omg she had sex
It kinda makes me laugh (however ironically) when people say someone’s “sick” if they make an offensive statement or do something really offensive. It’s like the fact that that person has said what they said automatically means they have a mental illness or they’re not right in the head or something, and the person who says “you’re sick” is, like,...
Book Dumbledore: Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?
Movie Dumbledore: HARRY POTTER DID YOU PUT YOUR FUCKING NAME INTO THE FUCKING GOBLET OF FUCKING FIRE